17. Building Rapport through Quick, Smart Action with Tim McCarthy

Brock Briggs  0:00  

I don't even like know how to intro like, hello and welcome to the Scuttlebutt podcast. Our kind of not so special guest. You're not a special guest because

Tim McCarthy  0:27  

No, I'm not.

Brock Briggs  0:29  

You're literally the fucking host of this show. Tim, welcome to the show. We're doing your interview today.

Tim McCarthy  0:39  

I'm excited.

Brock Briggs  0:40  

I am too. You're literally one of my long term best friends. You're somebody who I do this podcast with. I don't know what to say. But we're here to tell your story today though.

Tim McCarthy  0:54  

Yeah, let's jump into it.

Brock Briggs  0:56  

I wanna start out by saying that I am gonna be absolutely ruthless in this interview and like the amount of people have been getting off the hook easy with some easy questions, but I know enough about you to dig in where it hurts, hopefully.

Tim McCarthy  1:14  

Perfect. Wonderful. Really, really pull out all the stories that I have hidden, that way. That's awesome.

Brock Briggs  1:20  

Right, the closet doors open and the skeletons are coming out. So no, I truthfully, I've been looking forward to doing this interview. And I weirdly think that even though I know you really well, I think that I'm going to learn something. So I think that this will be good and help give our listeners some backstory about you. And then we'll do my interview as well, so looking forward to it. So Tim, give us the not so quick version of why you’re here today.

Tim McCarthy  1:55  

Sure. Okay, so it's not a very like, unique story. But

Brock Briggs  2:01  

After 12 interviews of people telling the exact same story

Tim McCarthy

Correct

Brock Briggs

You’re not unique anymore. 

Tim McCarthy  2:06  

Yeah, yes, I thought it was before I started to do this podcast. But no, I grew up in upstate New York with a big family. I have three siblings. So I'm one of four and a family of six and really sucked as a student in high school. I was more worried about what the people were doing around me than actually like focusing. And so when I graduated high school, I jumped right into community college and realized very quickly I was like, not a college person at that time in my life. I'm still not a college person. 

Brock Briggs  2:45  

Let’s say you haven't been back since, should say that you are not a college person.

Tim McCarthy  2:49  

Yeah, yeah. So no, I tried the college thing on and off for a few years, just like, same thing as high school, man. I was like too concerned about making friends and being cool than actually doing that. So I moved out of my parents house when I was 19, no 20. Moved out of my parents house when I was 19. 

And then just fucking hit rock bottom was like, super broke working at Best Buy. My car had broken down. I had no money to fix it. So my dad had to come and like bail me out. And he was like, “Are you ready to like stop being a dumbass? And like, move back home?” I was like, yeah, like, that's fine. I have, you know, $14 in my account. So let's do that. So at this point, I'm 20. I moved back home, which was kind of like an ego crusher, because I thought I was like, this independent dude moved back home. And I same thing, still working at Best Buy selling cell phones. 

And I came home from Best Buy one day, I was laying on my parents couch in my Best Buy uniform. And a Navy commercial came on. And I was like, “Yeah, yeah. I'll do that.” That to me is like something. It's like, that's what's the word I'm looking for? Notable? Yeah, that's like, it's a notable thing to do. You know, I wouldn't just be the Best Buy guy anymore. Like, I'd be in the military. And at the time, I was like, big into fitness. And so I was like, that's not a concern for me and during..

Brock Briggs  4:31  

What was the concern for you at that time? And I'm gonna kind of bury the lede here a little bit. In preparation for this conversation, I called your dad and I spent like an hour and a half, two hours on the phone with your dad, Tom. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah, yeah. 

Brock Briggs

Asking him some questions about the early Tim. A lot of this stuff I already knew, but a couple notes that I have here, if you will. 

Tim McCarthy

Oh, my God! 

Brock Briggs

He said that you thought of yourself as “Mr. Atlas.” 

Tim McCarthy

Oh, yeah, yep.

Brock Briggs

Okay. Aimless was a word that he used, only concerned about social connection, which was what he viewed was a downfall to you.

Tim McCarthy

Yeah. Yeah.

Brock Briggs

More focused on like people then. And sorry, Tom, I'm kind of out you here a little bit but yeah, I mean is that what was important is just the people and kind of like, for sure for a good time, not a long time.

Tim McCarthy  5:36  

Yeah. I mean, like, I never, I guess like, there's like a couple different ways I could go with this. Like, when I was in high school, there were certain things that interests me and like, if something interests me, I like double down on it. And like, that was what I was focused on. I was like, very entrepreneurial in high school. And I would like sell at wholesale like, shoes to people that I would like, get from overseas. I would like sell candy in like fifth grade, like it just it was like that. I was like, double like, I would double down on that. But like, I don't give a shit what a sedimentary rock is, you know what I mean? Like, I don't care what, like, I don't care about what George Washington did. Or like it just it, yeah. So that yeah, I mean, that's pretty like spot on. I was just kind of like, aimless. You know what I mean. 

And that's the crappy part too, is like, when I was in high school, if you were to look at, like, the stuff that I was doing, you probably wouldn't have felt like. If there was a TV show, and you're watching it, you'd probably would think like that I would be very ambitious once I got out because I had that entrepreneurial like side of me. But I like got out of high school, and just like lost that and was just like, aimlessly, like going to college classes that I never did work for, and then working at Best Buy, and like coming home. And when I lived with my parents, like laying on their couch, and then like go and hang out with friends like being around my friends and like being social. That's what was important to me, at that time.

Brock Briggs  7:04  

I didn't realize that you were like doing those little like sales hustles like when you were that young? 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

We're gonna get into like your sales experience. And like, I think that that's a really critical component that's kind of tied to your socialite tendencies. That like makes you really, really good at it. But that's interesting. That's something that you have always done.

Tim McCarthy 7:29  

If you ask my mom, she'll tell you I started my first business when I was in fifth grade. Do you remember Yu-Gi-Oh cards, I'm assuming?

Brock Briggs 7:37  

Oh, yeah, I was a Pokemon guy. But

Tim McCarthy 7:39  

Okay, so Yu-Gi-Oh cards were super big when I was in fifth grade. And in the show, they had the big dual disc, like that thing that they would play the card game and they were like wore them on their arm. I don't know if you remember. So I designed this, like elastic card deck holder that you would wear on your bracelet out of elastic, and I would go to the store. I told my mom about this idea at the time, I didn't notice so she does. 

So I like told her about. I said I need you to sew these like, look, it's super easy. It's like three loops of elastic and I can make eight of them for $1.50 and I can sell them for $2 a piece. And so like that's what I did. And like everybody in my grade like had these like makeshift dual discs out of elastic. And every one my mom made, I would pay her 25 cents. So like I had an employee.

Brock Briggs

Wow!

Tim McCarthy 

Like I was just yeah, like in fifth grade. It's so that is my mom and I still laugh about that. She's like you're running a fucking sweatshop like you've paid me 25 cents for you know what I mean? I'm like, “Hey, mom, those margins are tight.” Like I have to

Brock Briggs  8:53  

Right, cost of materials. It's crazy out here. That's crazy that you were doing that, that young and I had like a specific line here earlier that I wanna talk about but like you like haven't read a fucking sales book in your entire life. Like I know that you haven't and like, why we purchased notes about. Oh, I know you have, I've given you some. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, yeah. 

Brock Briggs

But like, I know that you haven't read those types of books, but it just is crazy to me that that kind of thing comes so naturally to you. So that's funny. I didn't know that story. That's cool. So you're out there slinging Yu-Gi-Oh cards, only care about your friends. And literally the really awesome Navy commercials just enticed you. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Those commercials are so bad. They get guys on the boats and they're shooting the machine guns and you're like, yeah, that's gonna be me.

Tim McCarthy   9:57  

Well, I had thought about joining the army a couple years before that. Same thing it was like, I think this was like, I thought about joining the army the first time I dropped out of college because I went back to college twice. And like took some time off and like went back. So I thought about joining the army. My dad was like, “Yeah, I don't think you're like, you're not wired for the army.” You know what I mean? Like, it's not that that's not you. 

So, and I like did research, I was like, “Yeah, fuck that. I don't wanna like live in the desert.” You know what I mean? I also had no desire to like kick doors in and like, get into firefights and stuff. Like I was never, I didn't give a shit about doing that. So yeah, then this Navy commercial came on. I had been exposed to the Navy quite a bit. We, my family, and I, we went to Virginia Beach, on like a summer vacation every year since I was little. So that's obviously like, where we were stationed. 

So that's a massive, like Navy area. So the planes and all like, the aircraft and stuff like that really has always interested me. I thought that it was cool. So the Navy commercial came on, and I was like, “Well, I'm not gonna more than likely, like, not gonna get into a firefight. Like, I'm not gonna be a grunt kicking in doors. So let me, if I can go like work with my hands and like fix stuff, which that was also, like, that was also something that I was very good at, at a young age is like, you're using tools and like building things and taking things apart and figuring out how they work and put it back together. 

So I got up after this commercial, walked up to my parents room, and I was like, “Hey, guys, I'm gonna join the Navy tomorrow.” And my dad was like, okay, like, perfect. I'll take you, you know, like, have you thought about what you wanna do? My dad was, like, jazzed up.

Brock Briggs  11:51  

My prayers were answered.

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, yeah. He's like, I have my fucking adult son sleeping on my couch again, you know what I mean? And my dad always would tell me like, you're so smart. Like, you are like, you could do anything. Just fucking apply yourself. Like, you're just wasting your life, you know. I told my parents, my dad was jazzed up. Of course, my mom was like, “What? What do you mean? Like, are you sure?” You know, she was nervous. So yeah, my dad and I went to the recruiters office the next day together. 

And I took like a practice ASVAB. And I crushed that. I think on the practice one, which is always harder than the actual one. I think I got like a 70. And my recruiter was like, “Yeah, man, like, you can get almost any job you want. Like, this is good.” I went there. And I signed up to be an avionics technician. And, yeah, and then I left seven months later and went to boot camp. That was super eye opening to me going into boot camp.

Brock Briggs 12:59  

Before you dive into that, I want to ask, because I think that this is something that's gonna come up later. What are your friends thinking about at this time? Because I'm always curious to hear and mostly just curious, because I know how, like my experience like dealing with my friends at the time. What are your, you spend all your time with your friends, that's all you care about. What did they say about this?

Tim McCarthy  13:27  

My, like, I guess, my like, very close friends, word like not about it, for selfish reasons. You know, like, they did not want me to leave. But everybody else that I was like, not super close with was like, “Oh, yeah, do you like that? That's awesome.” You know, like, that's good for you. Because I wasn't super close to them. 

I've always been kind of the type of person where like, once I find my like, group of friends, like, that's it, obviously. I mean, look at you, me and Ian for our entire fucking Navy careers. So like, my close friends were not super supportive of it, because they didn't want me to leave, you know. But I was also at a point where, like, my close friends at the time were like, really making these advances in their lives that I was like, not making and I was getting left behind, you know what I mean? 

So I was like, “No, I need to do this. I need to leave this small town. I need to like go fuck and make something of myself and like, I need some guidance, you know, put a little money in my pocket and be something you know.” So and they like they understood and they ultimately supported me. But like I said, selfishly, they were they didn't want me to do it, but just said I didn't want you to move to Virginia. You know what I mean? Like for my own selfish reasons. So

Brock Briggs  14:51  

Well, and it's interesting that they are kind of like making their own moves and like kind of advancing and like almost, you know, not trying to support you doing the same thing. I was kind of almost expecting it to be the other way. They're like, where, you know, kind of the “misery loves company” type idea. Like you've got a bunch of people that are like all not going anywhere together. And it's like, “Oh, you wanna go do something? Like, no, we don't want that, you know.”

Tim McCarthy  15:22  

Yeah, it's kind of like I'm gonna use like, “How I Met Your Mother” reference. Like, I almost felt like the Barney of the group, if you've ever seen How I Met Your Mother. I know you have, obviously. But for the listeners..

Brock Briggs

We watched a lot of that.

Tim McCarthy 

Oh, yeah. Because like everybody I like has relationships and is like, has like a lot of things going on. But Barney is just kinda like he's the dude that's there for a good time, the ladies man, you know what I mean. Like, the small group of friends that I have were three brothers, like, one of them. And this is kind of foresight to like, how I got into the car business, but like one of them had gotten into the car business. It was like, fucking crushing it, had a kid like got married. The other brother’s like crushing it in college. Both younger brothers were doing college and kind of killing that. 

And so it was like, hey, you guys are doing all of this stuff. And like getting married and like, now you're making all this money and you're like crushing it in college. I'm making $400 every two weeks working at Best Buy. And I'm spending every penny I have to like hang out with you guys. So I don't wanna say I guess I made it sound like they weren't supportive. They definitely supported me. But again, there was like that first initial of like, “No, dude, like, I can get you a job at the dealership,” or, you know, they did like, offer ways to like, if it's just about money, like I can get you a way to make better money. 

But in my head, I was like, no, no, like, there's something about it. I was like, “No, I need to go do this.” Even though they were really offering me a solution for my problem, which at that point was money. I was like, “No, I have to go do this. Like this is, for some reason what I'm meant to do. So I'm gonna go.”

Brock Briggs  17:20  

Yeah, that is one thing that you have, like stayed incredibly consistent on in the time that I've known you. When you like, you take about point five seconds to decide anything. And then you're just like, all in and it like hasn't ever burned you to my knowledge and so I just, I don't like it, but I gotta respect it.

Tim McCarthy   17:42  

Yeah, I just like I don't, dude, I've said it for years and years. Like, I'm just gonna wing it, like, tests, college, big decisions in life. Like, I'm just gonna wing it. Like it's okay, like presentations at school, best man speeches, like, no wing it like, we'll figure it out, you know.

Brock Briggs  18:03  

Well, it served you incredibly well. And that was one of the things I told your dad. I was like, I don't know how, what the word is for this, but Tim just, it has to be more than luck. But for the longest time, I thought it was luck. I was I don't know how you get so like, from the outside looking in lucky on stuff. But I think that it kind of comes back to some of your ability with people or whatever. But

Tim McCarthy   18:31  

What do you mean? Like, what is something that I've gotten like lucky with?

Brock Briggs  18:35  

Oh my God! Anybody that knows you that listens to this will be like Tim is the luckiest dude that I've ever met. Anytime that you've had to like travel and there's like, oh, it just happened to like get first class seats or like, you somehow like wait till the last second to do something and like over prepare is like me, are just like worried and anxious and like trying to do all this prep and like you end up getting a better result, like from not even preparing for it. I should have thought of a list but there's a very long list that exists. But yeah, we can get into that. Go ahead. You're in boot camp. Kind of get us into joining the Navy and kind of in that portion.

Tim McCarthy   19:21  

Yeah, so going into boot camp that was like very eye opening might just like my dad said I thought I was like the epitome of fitness. I was like very wrong. Like oh, they like whooped my ass and I'm sure anybody that's listened, that’s like a Marine or Army vet. I was like “Okay, pussy,” but like it really was just like super shocking to me.

Brock Briggs  19:44  

What’s up with boots on just got like, way harder.

Tim McCarthy   19:47  

Oh yeah, dude, like the flutter kicks and like all this shit, but you don't realize like your boots weigh like four pounds, which is a fuck ton of weight. When you're like doing what do they call it like six inches or whatever like holding your feet over. Yeah. But yeah no, like, it was cool, eye opening, I got into good shape. I was like bulking up really quickly before I left just because I was like working out a shitload and like eating a lot. 

And like at one point, I went to go like weigh in when you like, do that every couple of months when you're in depth or whatever. And my recruiter was like, “Alright, rock, like chill out on the fucking protein shakes. You've gained eight pounds in seven months. Like you're about to be overweight here. Like, chill the fuck out.” So, anyway, so yeah, I got through boot camp, and then was down in Pensacola, Florida, for training. And that is where I met you.

Brock Briggs  20:47  

That is where we met. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

For anybody unfamiliar with this “us meeting” story, a lot of people will be. There was something like super unique about you that like a really attracted me to you. And I can probably count on one hand how many people that I've like felt that about, but you just the way that you kind of like carried yourself. Like, I mean, we're like walking around the barracks. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, yeah.

Brock Briggs

But like, you had this kind of electric energy. And like, everybody just it was literally like a cloud of people that always kind of like moved around you. And like, you could tell that you were like, I don't wanna say like the center of attention. But you had a way of like, kind of building this social circle that everybody kind of knew who you were, and like, kind of wanted to be around you. And I was one of those people. Literally, well, I saw you one day and I was like, I'm gonna be friends with that guy. Like, no matter what. And like, I mean, to cut to the chase, like it took me trying to get you to hang out like 10 times. 

Tim McCarthy 

I think it was like two, but.. 

Brock Briggs

It was at least three or four, dude, like one of the times you were out of town, the other you were volunteering. Yeah, no, I'm glad it ended up working out. But

Tim McCarthy   22:12  

For the listeners, I guess because I do kind of wanna tell the story. So Brock had, we're in the same barracks in Pensacola, Florida. He had added me on Facebook, obviously, we’re like new of each other. And he had messaged me on Facebook, like, I guess we'll say like a few times, three, four times.

Brock Briggs  22:35  

It felt like 30 times but

Tim McCarthy   22:38  

So he had messaged me 30 times on Facebook like asking me to hang out or like off like, “Hey, I'm doing this, like, do you wanna go?” And I kind of was I didn't, I was like, “Oh, I already have plans or whatever.” And it was for the record. I was like, not trying to like not hang out with you. I just had like, already had plans or whatever. And then we were out at some bar like we did. And I ran into Brock and I was like, “Oh dude, like, you know, we kind of started chopping it up and then got blasted.” 

I hung out with Brock all night, we went back to the barracks room. Went to our like separate rooms and we're like, “Alright, dude, like, I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast.” I woke up at Sunday for breakfast, went to the galley, ate in fucking absolute silence because we were just feeling like crap, and walked back to the barracks and like, went our separate ways and took a nap. 

And I think we've been together ever since like that. That meal was so iconic, because there's not many you never, it's so hard to like meet somebody where you could like sit down and eat and like not say a fucking word. But just like enjoy like just being there. You know what I mean? 

Brock Briggs

That company, you know.

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, yeah, for real. And it's like, we did like, I think we maybe said a total of five sentences that entire, like, during that like more than that next morning. And then it was like, yeah, that's my best friend.

Brock Briggs  24:09  

Well, and what's weird too, is that like, that kind of thing comes from like, I feel like years of like friendship development. And I felt like it literally just appeared overnight. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, yeah.

Brock Briggs

And I was like, oh, wow, like it in past friendships that I had, I was like that you don't just like get to that point. Like one day you kind of just notice it. You're like, “Oh, wow.” Like that's, we don't need to be talking all the time. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

But I knew that was something interesting right off the bat. I also have another funny story about a time at the galley there in Pensacola. Very early on in our friendship, I knew I was kind of like dealing with another caliber of human being when we go in.. 

Tim McCarthy 

I think I know where you're going.

Brock Briggs

I know that you do. For anybody unfamiliar, you just kind of like during the week, there's the galley, you go and eat, just with your friends, you wait in line, and it's just whatever. The food is always there, you can be out in town and come back and eat whatever. 

But during the week, you mostly eat there. We were, I don't know what we were doing. But we went in to eat dinner one day, and you see this pasta bar. And I mean, they have like, you know, you go through the main line of the galley. And you're like, okay, here's all this food, they have like a little salad bar. And then like, a couple times a week, they'd have like a pasta bar, of which, thinking back on like, sounds really ludicrous, because I don't know why that existed. 

But there'd be like a couple types of noodles. There's like kind of a marinara sauce and whatever. And I'm like watching you go through this line, and you go, like you had like, been pretty open, like you love to eat, you're all about the carbs, whatever. But there was a particular day when you grabbed two slices of bread from the main line, you go over to the pasta bar, and you make this must have been like a Scooby Doo, like a six inch sandwich. 

You pile on this pasta onto the bread, and then douse it in parmesan cheese, not even any sauce or anything and just put the other slice of bread on top. And you just crushed this pasta sandwich that must have been like 2000 calories, right? There just in that sandwich. And that was just like the supplement to your meal. I was like, “Man, who is this guy? Like what?”

Tim McCarthy   26:38  

Oh, gosh, I remember you being so fucking disgusted that you literally like looked at me. You're like, “Tim, what are you doing?” And so casually, “Pasta sandwich, dude.”

Brock Briggs  26:51  

Right. Like, it was just literally no big deal. It was a big deal. That's a problem.

Tim McCarthy   26:57  

I dream about that pasta bar sometimes. It’s the next level.

Brock Briggs  27:02  

Not on a sandwich, but I have been questioning your food choices for a long time. And that was that might have been the start of it. 

Tim McCarthy   27:10  

It probably was. Yeah, so anyway. So that's where I meet you, go through training. That the like amount of schooling was weird too, because I felt like I was like back in college. But it really took the pressure off because that was my job, right? Like, you were getting paid to be there Monday through Friday in class passing tests and stuff like that. I never fucking studied, but it still like it did allow me to kind of like focus on this. And again, it was something that I was interested in. So I like doubled down on it. 

And I would pass all the tests and stuff like that. And then got stationed in Norfolk, Virginia. And six months later, you also went to Virginia, our buddy Ian, was there before either of us. He was kind of like our third half, who's always with us, but anyway. Yeah, so I was in Norfolk. Shortly after you'd gotten to Virginia, that's where I met Jessica, my wife through you. And that's where I spent most of my career, or all of my career actually was Norfolk, Virginia.

Brock Briggs  28:20  

It’s a beautiful place.

Tim McCarthy   28:24  

The armpit of America. 

Brock Briggs  28:26  

Right. I was listening to one of our pastors, you can call it that. And that got a chuckle out of me. You know, one thing that's unique, I think about coming here, and that I'm grateful for in hindsight is I think the lack of things to do here, like really forced our hand into like, being friends, because it was like, well, we don't really have anything to do. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

For anybody that's unfamiliar with this area, I don't know. I personally think that you can, like really find a lot to do anywhere you go. I don't know what it is about this place, but there's nothing to do.

Tim McCarthy   29:04  

That's like, the weird thing is like, there's so much to excuse me, it feels like there's so much to do, but then there's like nothing to do. Like you have the beach out okay, and there's like obviously normal stuff, but yeah, it's weird. It like really feels like there's like fucking nothing to do there. But it's also like, very busy. So it's like, what is everybody doing? Like, where are you all going?

Brock Briggs  29:27  

Where can we be a part of whatever is happening? Well, that kind of just led us to really be just like going out a lot. I think that that's what primarily a lot of people are doing here and maybe that's military culture. Or maybe it's something about here in general, but like, really what there is to do is to like drink and party. Like that's, there are so many bars in this area and like, you wanna go to the beach like oh, you're getting especially coming from Pensacola too. We had just spent six months on the beach like every single day, you know, and you'd like, “That was just what we did.” So, yeah. You talked about meeting Jessica. What was kind of like your relationship? You don't have to get into too much nitty gritty detail, but like she was on relationships coming up into Jessica.

Tim McCarthy   30:25  

Yeah. Back to like the Barney Stinson reference. I was always like, the single friend, you know, like, I had never really had like, a long term girlfriend. I know she's gonna listen to this. So I don't wanna say that, like I was a player, but I was like, not. I got bored quickly with girls. And I would just like, “Okay, you're not the one for me. Move on.” I was always like, pretty good with girls. And maybe that had something to do with it. But yeah, I've never had a like long term girlfriend before. So that's just never on my mind, I guess.

Brock Briggs  31:08  

Yeah. Tim was one of those people in Pensacola where he was that friend that would like unashamedly go up to the group of just like 10 hot girls at the bar that every guy was afraid to talk to. And he just like stroll up there. Like he had literally nothing to lose. And like, I don't know, maybe that was kind of that lucky element that we were talking about earlier. But like, you just have like a way of like, kind of schmoozing. And..

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

You just kinda have an electric personality. 

Tim McCarthy   31:41  

My roommate, when I moved out of New York, his name's BJ. He's a good buddy of mine. I would like try to help him. Obviously, I'm like, 19, 20 doing whatever 19, 20 year old doing, going out and chasing tail. And I would like try to help him like, “get girls” or like, you know, be Mr. Suave. And I would literally tell him, like, at 19, 20 years old, like, “Dude, going and talking to this girl is a zero risk, high reward situation.” 

So she tells you, no, I have a boyfriend or like, I'm good. Like, I appreciate it. Okay, whatever. Like, thank you, like, have a wonderful night, enjoy your night, take care. Like, there's no risk to it. And that's the way that I always looked at it with anything, not even with girls, but just like, really any interaction or trying to make a connection with anybody. Like it's a no risk situation, why not? Everybody in the bar, just like you said, every dude in the bars thinking it, why not? Go talk to her. You know what I mean?

Brock Briggs  32:46  

Yeah, you kind of, you have a really good way of like, balancing out that equation and understanding like you said, it's zero risk. There's nothing really at stake in this decision. And I think that there's some spillover into some of those other things that we were talking about, like your split decision making. A lot of times there's really not as much on the line, as you think that there might be. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah 

Brock Briggs

Within our close friend group, we joke that your now wife, who you've been married to for several years, you guys have two kids, like, life is great. We joked that Jessica kind of plucked you and like decided that you guys were gonna be an item. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

What were your early perceptions of Jessica? Because it like, I would probably argue that she wasn't like the type that I would think that you would have gone for. And like, history will show that like, I actually deliberately tried to keep you guys from getting connected. Just because I believe that so strongly. But what were kind of like your early perceptions there because I think that that represented a very large shift and just like I don't know, like how seriously you are taking your life you know?

Tim McCarthy   34:12  

Yeah. My wife is very attractive. So like, obviously my like initial reaction. So the reason why people make the joke that like, my wife, like “hand picked” me or the claw machine came down and like plucked me, I was like you were going to be my husband now. Jessica was friends with you before you joined the Navy. And obviously we are very good friends and we had pictures on social media and stuff like that. 

And there was a picture of you and me and her buddy Franco in the bar holding, all holding like these fish bowls and were these massive blue drinks. And apparently that was the picture where my wife was coming to visit you and kind of hang out for a little bit. And she was like, “I wanna meet this Tim kid,” you know. And so she, and you I think, you would try to set her up with one of our other friends.

Brock Briggs

That's very true. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yes. So I would meet her and she had literally said like, “No, no, no. I want Tim.” Like, I wanna meet Tim.

Brock Briggs  35:22  

In preparation for the show, I actually was like, scrolling back to our old pictures, and I saw that photo. And it's not the most flattering photo of you.

Tim McCarthy   35:30  

It's not, that's the funny thing, you know, as like, we definitely have like, bet I have like better pictures out there. But yeah, no, my, I don't know what it was because like, at that time, I'd never had a serious girlfriend. I'm kinda, I'm a young military dude. And I just like having fun with my best friends like doing our thing and loving life. And the last thing I would have ever thought was that I was gonna, like, settle down so quickly. 

But there was just something. When I met Jess, we spent 36 hours together. She got there in the middle of the night on Saturday, because she drove up from Florida. And she left Monday morning, like 36 hours. That was it. And it was just something of like, we'd kind of both initially went into it thinking like, this will just be like a fun little weekend. But I remember texting her as she was like, at the airport after I dropped her off. And she's like, we both were just kind of like, we don't wanna like lose contact. It was just like the weird thing. 

Also, the other thing too is when I met Jessica, she has daughter and her daughter was 2, which at 20 I just turned 22, right before I met her. At 22 years old, if you were to tell me like that, I would have been cool with stepping up into a father role. I would have told you you're fucking crazy. And but there was just something about it that I was okay with. Like she obviously told me like very, very quickly, within like the first few messages back and forth. Because she had added me on Facebook before she came out. She's like, “You know, I have a two year old daughter and this is what I do.” 

And for some reason, I was just like, cool. Like, that's awesome. And it like didn't faze me which is weird because that was not on brand for me. 

Brock Briggs

Really, it wasn’t. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, like anybody else and I don't have no rhyme or reason for it. But like at that thinking back that'd be six years ago. Any I would have I would have thought I would been like, “Oh, I'm good. I'm not ready for that type of like commitment.” But for some reason in my head I was like, “Cool that's awesome.” You know what I mean? It was just weird.

Brock Briggs  37:49  

Well and it was so weird for all of the rest of your friends too. All like all on the sidelines and like 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

We're being like we've just spent the last like year or so like going out to the bars every weekend just, like you said trying to chase girls and like do just crappy stuff, you know. I don't know what the right word is there but

Tim McCarthy   38:15  

Just being kids you know. We're like 21 year olds you know, 20 to 22 year olds in the military like

Brock Briggs  38:21  

Really trying to think we can flex on everybody and you know think that we made something and I think that everybody enjoyed that and so it was so weird for. We were all just like “Dude, what? Like what are you talking about? You wanna get into a relationship?”

Tim McCarthy   38:41  

Not to mention she was across the country. We were living in Virginia and she was living in Idaho at the time. So not only was it like I was getting into a relationship which was off brand, I was also like stepping, starting that like stepping into being a dad and a long distance and not like a couple hours like a fucking eight hour flight like across the country long distance. There's just like all these things like yeah. It's like all these things kind of going against us and from the outside looking in I'm sure like as my best friend, you're just like “Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” But like I said, like my initial reaction like I can't explain it. I was just like, “This is what I want.” Like a split second decision, you know what I mean. Like this is it you know. This is what I wanna give it a whirl, you know.

Brock Briggs  39:36  

Yeah, I think that we're gonna come back to this a little bit later because your role has like developed much more since that point. But you have like filled that role so well and like always been kind of like a step ahead. I think ahead of the rest of us and kind of like maturity a little bit and we all have kind of like followed like your footsteps of like life stages. But yeah, you've done a phenomenal job. And that probably was the tipping point of like the rest of your kind of like adult life begins, you know. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Brock Briggs

It was in that moment the trips to the bar declined 

Tim McCarthy 

Substantially 

Brock Briggs

Flat for a little bit but then that was actually, that was the peak.

Tim McCarthy   40:25  

Yeah, for sure

Brock Briggs  40:28  

I wanna talk about the Navy just in general. So you're like, you go you end up working at two different helicopter squadrons. You really excel. Like you're a phenomenal technician. You're great in like your work centers, people love you. The biggest thing for me is that like you love it. Like you literally have all of the people in our friend group all we did was complain and bitch about like being in just like most of the people in. One of the things that stood out to me about your time in is you were the one person that loved the Navy.

Tim McCarthy  41:08  

Yeah, I did. I did. 

Brock Briggs

Why is that? 

Tim McCarthy 

You know, I think that it's kind of a combination of things like it was. I mean, again, I was like, kind of a bum. And then I like joined the Navy. And I'm like making better money than I've ever made in my life at the time. So like the money aspect of it. The social aspect of it, I'm like, I'm meeting all these people. I have literally the best friends that anybody could ever have, like, I'm lucky enough to, like, achieve that. And like have you and our other friend, Ian that are just like, people never sometimes never get that. Like, never get that opportunity to like make those friends. 

So like to me, I don't, I wouldn't say that I like I loved the work necessarily, though. Being a technician was like cool, but I just like loved where I was like in life. You know, I'd gone from selling phones at Best Buy and like being the like “Best Buy guy.” I remember I like ran into this girl that I was like kind of talking to. I ran into her and her friend at the bar one time. And this is like before I joined the Navy and her friend literally said to me, “Oh, you're the Best Buy guy.” Like, yeah, yeah, it was fucking stung. And I remember just being like, that was like kind of that would like the initial like, I need to do something else. Like what the fuck am I doing? 

Brock Briggs  42:50  

It's funny that you bring up like you almost sent this like word for word just now. But again, in research of and preparation for this interview, I literally have a quote from an Instagram picture caption that you wrote that says, “Life is funny. One day, I'm on the couch selling cell phones. The next thing I know I'm living the life I always want.” 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah 

Brock Briggs

What was it about that was so different? You had the friends already. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

I mean, the money is a little bit different. But like,

Tim McCarthy   43:33  

Yeah, yeah, right. And so like, that's, I've always been the type to care about what people think of me. I always like wanna be the cool guy. So I think a big portion of it too, was like one really cool thing that and I was kind of also like thinking about this type of thing in preparation for this. But like one big thing was like, it allowed me to kind of like a fresh start, almost like going to like a new school. Like, I was never the new kid at school. I was in the same school my entire life. 

But like, I was in such a small town and like my group of friends and stuff like that, like. I was always like perceived the same way that I was in eighth grade as I was in 10th grade as I was at 20 years old, like, you know. So it was just like, I was able to leave my hometown like start over, do something that is like very honorable and like I'm not the Best Buy guy anymore. So now I can like tell people like, “Yeah, I'm in the Navy. I fix helicopters, which I loved,” and I was able to like kind of rebrand myself almost and like, start out like people don't know me from when I was in eighth grade and like this goofy kid, but like they know me for like the person that they're seeing. 

And so I was able to just kind of like be who I wanted to be instead of like having to change somebody's perception of maybe because they've known me for 20 years. You know what I mean? So I would say, to answer your question, that's why I loved it so much as I was with my best friends doing a job that I did like my job. And I was on my own, you know, and I was doing something that was honorable, and people thought it was cool, but I was just like, loving life.

Brock Briggs  45:25  

Yeah. Well, and I think that small town mentality sort of thing. I don't know if there's a way to really escape who you were before without leaving. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

I truly believe that. And sometimes you really just have to separate yourself from maybe your history. And it's not like you had like, done anything bad. 

Tim McCarthy 

No, no.

Brock Briggs

You didn't know, like, no rap sheet or whatever. But like, you had all of these perceptions about you that were a certain way. And probably, you know, I know that you care about your perceptions of or other people's perceptions of you. But I think that there's also the perception of yourself that you can only, like, you can only be what you can kind of imagine in this whole time.

Tim McCarthy  

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Maybe you'll only be the Best Buy guy, because everybody just has told you that for so long. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And kind of breaking out into this uncharted area kind of expanded the horizons of what you could you thought yourself to do.

Tim McCarthy  46:34  

Yeah, for sure.

Brock Briggs  46:37  

Did any of your viewpoints about your friends or, like your kind of back home life?

Tim McCarthy   46:46  

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Changed like, kind of as you're like, going through your time in the military?

Tim McCarthy   46:52  

100%, it's funny that you say that, and I don't know if my dad got into it, got into this with you. I'm sure he did. Because he's probably told the story a million times. But like, I owe it like, before I was in the Navy, I thought that I had, like the greatest of friends. And like, it couldn't be better. But joining the Navy, there's just like something about kind of like being in the suck with somebody, like you're the best, worst time of your life and that you're doing that together. You definitely, the bonds are way stronger. 

And my dad will tell you like, you don't wanna be in. He was telling me all the time, “Would you wanna be stuck in a foxhole with those people?” And I'm like, “Yeah, of course dad,” but then you join the Navy and and I get friends that I actually would wanna be in a foxhole with and that's not to say that my friends from back home are not still my good friends. It's just, it's very different. Because the things you experience together are different. So it takes it to that next level, I think but yeah, 100%.

Brock Briggs  48:10  

Other than like having a similar shared experience, what do you think about your criteria for selecting friends? Or how you build friendships has changed? Because I know at least kind of from my perspective and like what people have like told me about our friendship. I literally it would take me like a piece of paper to write down all of the names of people that have come to me and said like people that we have brought to like come and hang out with us before and people are like I've never seen anything like this.

Tim McCarthy   48:52  

Yeah, it’s just like such a strong connection like it's like from the outside looking in, when we bring somebody in, you almost look at it and people have have literally said it like, it said like near impossible to try to break into this friend group.

Brock Briggs  49:10  

I joke about that. Anybody that like is our friend that is listening to this. We like have this running joke about “the group.” 

Tim McCarthy 

Yes

Brock Briggs

Like it's just like our really close friends or whatever and like we joke about it being exclusive. It really never was. It’s like the bar was so high like this. You need to like basically make a blood oath like to get into this friend group. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

I don't know what that was though. But like there was such a high bar that we got for people to like kind of

Tim McCarthy   49:45  

Well and it goes back to that like us sitting in the galley that day after we hung out for the first time. Like you just like no, you know what I mean? Like you just in I'm like, to answer the question of like, has the way that I selected friends change. I've always kind of been like, who you choose to have around you says more about you as a person than really anything else. So I definitely am like, probably to my own fault, but I'm almost to the point. And I've said this to you before, where it's like, I don't, it's hard for me to make friends at this point, because I'm like, I have my best friends. Like, I have friends. You're not gonna like, be that. So why would I waste my time? You know what I mean?

Brock Briggs  50:36  

Oh, and I've struggled with this for so long. And I've really tried to think about how to describe that to other people. Because you know, other people, not only have they been, like, curious about that, but when I that's like, advice that I tried to give to people, and I don't know what to say. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Because when I see people be friends with people that are less than adequate, that I know that it's not good. I'm trying to like, express like, “Oh, this is what you should do.” The only thing that I can really say is that. And I think that our friendship and friend group embodies this, is that there's no one bar for your friends, and nobody gets a pass for anything. You have to continue to show up as a friend. As you know, maybe this has been your relationship with your partner. Like, it's not just like, once you meet a certain threshold, like it's okay. And that's something that like, Aubrey and I have talked about a lot is like dealing with family. 

This is probably be a hot take for some people, but family doesn't get a pass just because their family. It doesn't give you an excuse to just like, not be a good friend to your family member just because “oh, we're family.” Like you got to show up every day. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Like be better to the people that you love. I'm sure that that's something that we do really well.

Tim McCarthy   52:11  

Oh, I agree. Especially like, when we lived in the same area. Like without a doubt, I could call you or Ian up and be like, “Hey, dude, I like need you to do this. I need you to pack right now because we're about to drive three hours to Washington DC.” And like, you make it happen. It's funny, because that literally happened. Like it's something that, it just kind of happens. 

And again, it's like that being able to make quick decisions. Like, I know, within minutes of talking to somebody or meeting somebody, I know whether or not like we will be friends within minutes. And I don't know, it may not even be the words that are coming out of their mouth, but it's just something that you can feel of like, I probably will not be friends with you. Or the opposite of like, I am going to be very good friends with this person.

Brock Briggs  53:18  

Yeah. And I think that's the big takeaway there for because I think that this is something a subject that we both like can talk like very confidently about. And like other people can take is like understanding what your requirements are from a friend. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And if you can't find anybody that meets that, that doesn't mean it's time to like back down the ladder. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, for sure. 

Brock Briggs

Like you're way better off by yourself than dealing with subpar friends.

Tim McCarthy   53:52  

Well one thing that is kind of interesting to me is, I was just talking about this with my in laws. That they have a family friend and their daughter is in the Navy now and she's like really struggling with it. Like she wants to get out and I had to ask them. I said, “Does she have a group of friends? Like a consistent group, does she have a group?” And they're like, “No.” I think that that's one of the biggest things that's why she's miserable is it's like her and her boyfriend. And it really having like that solid group can make or break your opinions on the Navy. 

Like if you don't have that group of friends outside of the Navy, or like while you're in that you hang out with outside of like doing your job, I can only assume it would be freakin' miserable. And that is again, I guess me being lucky, that’s one thing that I got really really lucky on is like I found my group very early on in the Navy. And we all got lucky enough to like be stationed together. And so that's why that's a big proponent to why I loved being in is because I had that group. But like if you don't have that, it could be fucking miserable, I would assume.

Brock Briggs  55:19  

I agree. And it's weird like looking back on it I was literally just about to ask like, is that why you think that you enjoyed it so much? And maybe I'm just kind of a glass half empty person and I'm like, “Oh, I still didn't like it even though that I had good friends. But like, I still wouldn't change it now because I gained these friendships because of that, and I wouldn't have otherwise.

Tim McCarthy   55:47  

Yeah, for sure. I mean, like you said, I loved it. But don't get me wrong, like I would not. I loved it because of the things that it gave me in my life not because I got to play with helicopters like that. That was not it. So I would never like go back and like rejoin, you know what I mean? It was all of the other stuff that it gave me, the ability to restart my friends, my wife, the experiences that it gave me. Like, I didn't like the job enough to do it when I got out, much less rejoin, you know what I mean? 

Brock Briggs  56:20  

Yeah. Well, and you touched on something there. I think, or I know, the real benefits of joining the military are not tangible. They are things that you will likely never be able to quantify, you know, you. They give you a better work ethic. And this is just assuming the average person joining but it gives you a better work ethic. It exposes you to a diverse group of people and allows you to have the opportunity to lead in like some capacity. And all of those things are super critical for like personal and professional development, you know.

Tim McCarthy 

For sure, yeah

Brock Briggs

It's like you said, it's not your ability to like troubleshoot helicopters now, that is really the big takeaway.

Tim McCarthy   57:10  

Yeah, absolutely.

Brock Briggs  57:13  

What do you think was the most important thing that you took away of, all of those things, we just talked about several. What do you think has been the most impactful, like still to this day, and maybe that something that other people should be

Tim McCarthy   57:36  

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Watching for? 

Tim McCarthy 

Out of all the things we just talked about the relationships that I've made, my wife, my friends, like, those have most definitely been like, the most impactful things in joining. Because that's something that like, you can't, that's not something that can be taught. That's not something that can be bought, that is like it when you have that, when you have your wife, and you have your friends, or your husband or whatever, it just, again, makes no any, whatever you're going through military or not, it makes it so much easier. So that is probably what's the most, has been the most impactful is the relationships that I took away from it.

Brock Briggs  58:24  

Yeah, like I said, you're exposed to so many different types of people, too. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

You can really like quickly find out what you do and don't like. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And, you know, kind of help you guide your kind of decision making.

Tim McCarthy   58:40  

And that's probably, and that's a really great point. That's probably why, like I said, I could decide within minutes of talking to somebody, if I'm gonna be friends with them. And that's probably why is because that you are exposed to so many people from, you're exposed to so many different kinds of people from all over the country. So your ability to kind of read somebody and figure out what type of person they are very quickly. That is a skill that you get from being in, that you're not gonna get from staying in your hometown. You know what I mean? Because you already know, everybody, you don't need to figure them out.

Brock Briggs  59:20  

Yeah, absolutely. If there was something that you could go back and change. And like, let's say that you have to change something. Or maybe even what was the thing that you regret the most?

Tim McCarthy   59:35  

Yeah. I don't think that was gonna be a really tough question because I wouldn't change anything. Because everything like when you look back at it, everything happened for a reason. And that kind of goes hand in hand with what I regret. I think what I regret is like not deploying. I never had the opportunity to go on like a full day appointment, which I know obviously like you deployed. And hearing about it, I know you hated it, as I'm sure everybody does, you're like away from your family. 

But I regret that, but I would never change it. Because had I deployed, I probably would not be with my wife, because depending on when I deployed. If I had gone for eight months, I would not have been able to go and visit my wife or have her come out to Virginia and visit me. So we wouldn't have been able to build the relationship that we built. And depending on when I deployed and stuff like that, would I have been as good of friends with you as I am now, you know what I mean? So I wouldn't change it. 

But that is probably the one thing about my Navy career that bums me out a little bit. It’s I never went on a full deployment. I went out to see, you know what I mean? I did like, under ways for weeks at a time or whatever, but which was cool. But that piece is like missing, like, I feel like I didn't fully like serve my country, because I wasn't deployed.

Brock Briggs 1:01:10  

We talked about that with a couple other people. Just like that feeling of kind of completeness or like, you kind of have the box checked up, like what you set out to do, like, “Oh, I haven't served my country until I've like, done this.”

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

You know, you can kind of like easily keep raising that bar of like, “Oh, I haven't taken a bullet for this country. So I didn't serve, you know.” 

Tim McCarthy 

Right 

Brock Briggs

Why do you think that is? And like, what is it that you think that you would have gotten out of deploying that would be different had you done it? Or how would you feel differently?

Tim McCarthy   1:01:53  

I think just checking the box, you know what I mean. That I really think that that's all that it would be, would just be ticking that little box of like, deployed, done. But you're always comparing yourself. Everybody compares himself to other people, no matter what you say. It's human nature. So you're comparing yourself to like, especially now being a veteran and being out and I talk to veterans all the time, in my job. Like I'm comparing what I did to like what they did. And it's or what you know, other people have done. And it's like, “Man, I really like didn't fully do my part, you know what I mean. 

But you could look at it the other way of like, no, when my first squadron was a training squadron where they trained air crewmen and pilots. My job was to make sure that they had helicopters that they could fly. And they could learn and then they could go on to do be rescue swimmers or fly the helicopter. So like, that was my part. Everybody has a cog in the wheel. But to me not deploying, that's the one thing that like, it probably would not have changed anything other than maybe my viewpoint on the Navy. I would have might have come back and actually disliked it. Other than the fact of it, I never checked that box. 

And it was just like the way that it worked out. It wasn't a personal choice, just I went to a training Squadron and then the squadron I went to after that when I transferred there, they were on their way back from a deployment. The deployment that you were with that you were on. So yeah, I don't think it really would have changed anything other than negatively had I deployed. So that's why I wouldn't have changed it. But I would like to have that box checked and been able to tell people that I deployed. That's it.

Brock Briggs  1:03:47  

Well, I was just talking the other day about how like EVAL cycles, and like deployment cycles and stuff like that. It's like, there are so many things that are just beyond your control, like in the Navy. Like I was explaining to somebody the other day about how, like, I got to my command, like two weeks sooner than like this other group of people. And that like that two weeks was the difference in me getting a better EVAL, which actually allowed me to advance earlier than all of those people even though we were in the same like group, and just like really, really small differences in time. Like have these huge like kind of resounding impacts on you know, when you deploy. You know, if you make rank or not like there's all of these different factors and you just like you're dealing with something much bigger than yourself, you know.

Tim McCarthy 

For sure, yeah. 

Brock Briggs

And I would be curious if you had actually deployed if you would feel that or if you would feel that like checkbox was enough. Or if that would have checked that box and added another box.

Tim McCarthy   1:05:00  

And I'm sure it would have, like you said it, I'm sure it would like get to the point where it's like, I didn't get my leg blown off. Like I didn't serve my country. Because like I said, everybody has a cog in the wheel, whether you're a paper pusher or a cook, or a Navy Seal. Like everybody has a cog in it. But you're right, I agree 100%. I would have checked that box. But then another box would have appeared of like, “Oh, I didn't deploy twice when there are people who did or whatever,” you know what I mean.

Brock Briggs 1:05:31  

Right. So we talked a little bit earlier about the fact that you really love the Navy, based on all of these experiences, the people, you kind of enjoy your job. What actually was the deciding factor on you getting out? Because this is you would have been the one person to stay in. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, for sure.

Brock Briggs

Like you really talked openly about loving your job and like showing up to work. I mean, that may be driven by the fact that you only work like maybe one day a week. It seems like Tim, somehow, I've never seen somebody with like sharper skates of like getting out of work. This dude was always pulling stunts to get out of work. Being a family, man, you know, like, there's that, there's..

Tim McCarthy  1:06:28  

And I don't know if that was like my ability to like, build relationships and like, built like, talk to people that like, but yeah, I mean, it was wild. Like I remember there was one time I said, “Hey, if I can jump high enough, or I can hit my head on the ceiling, can I go home?” And my supervisor was like, “Yeah, like, let's see it.” And I did it. And I was like, “deuces.”

Brock Briggs  1:06:51  

Were you showing up to us hanging out. And we're like, “Dude, we thought you were working tonight.” I think it was like a Friday night.

Tim McCarthy 

It was 

Brock Briggs

We weren't gonna go out because you were working nights. And you show up at like six o'clock at night. Oh, I like jumped up and smashed my head on the ceiling. Look at this gash in my head. Like, at least we can go out now. I was like, “What??” Who are your bosses?

Tim McCarthy   1:07:14  

Yeah, it just, I don't know. 

Brock Briggs  1:07:18  

I mean you love to see people in pain. Like, I mean, if that was me, I'm given the person the day off like.

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

I mean for a month, I don’t know.

Tim McCarthy   1:07:24  

And that was just it. My RTC and boot camp, one of the pieces of advice he gave us at the end was like, and he was in aviation as well. He was the airframer. Great dude. At the end, he said, if you are ever at work, and somebody says you can go home, don't ever question it. Whether they say it kidding or not kidding, because if outside of being an RDC in my airframe shop, if I say Brock, go home. And Brock says, really? I'm gonna say, “No, John, go home.” And for some reason, like in my head that was like, burned. It was like such a good piece of advice. 

And so anytime somebody was like, “Who wants to go home?” I'd raise my, “Alright, McCarthy go home.” Or if they said, if I would make deals with like, “Hey, if I do this, like, can I go home?” Oh, yeah, sure. I do it. See yah, I'm out. Like, I'm out because I make the same amount of money, regardless if I'm there for 18 hours, or if I'm there for 30 minutes. Like, I don't know why I remember that piece of advice out of all the advice that was given to me. If somebody says you can go home, fuckin’ leave, like don't question it. Just pack your shit and go. And that's what I did.

Brock Briggs  1:08:40  

Think I was just like, maybe so envious, because I was like, never in. Like, I don't ever remember somebody saying, “Oh, we're like really light on work.” 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Like, so let's send some people home. Like that literally didn't happen to me once in four years.

Tim McCarthy  1:08:59  

Yeah, yeah. And we're like, at my first squadron, we had so many people there like, our shop was massive. So like, it was a training squadron. It's like they did have like a lot of new sailors coming there too, not only like air crewmen and pilots, but like technicians too. So there was just like, a lot of people there. So that was like, easy to be like, “Hey, you guys don't fucking need me. Like if I can throw this racket ball and like, hit the stop sign, like can I go home?” Sure. 

But then at my second squadron, they knew that I was getting out. So they were like at that point, Jessica was pregnant and they knew I was getting out there like you're leaving here in eight months, like you've mentally already checked out, like go to the doctor's appointments, like, go do that. To go back to your original question of why did I get out? That was a really, really hard decision for me to make because I wanted to stay in and unfortunately I knew you and Ian we're getting out, and you were gonna leave. But to me, I was like, I like this, like, I can make something of myself. It was a comfortable lifestyle, I guess. I was making, getting consistent money. 

But where we were stationed in Norfolk. At that point, when it comes time for me to make that decision, I have a family, I'm married, my wife is pregnant. I am a dad. All right, like I have a three or four year old now at that point who I've fully like, she's fully my daughter, like I've already. That's my daughter. It was like, not a good area to raise kids. My wife was miserable in Virginia. She was away from her family. She obviously was like very good friends with you guys. But you guys were leaving. So like, she didn't have her group outside of our group. 

And so her group would have been me and our daughters. You know what I mean? But I and me saying and also would have meant, like leaving. And one thing I never really realized, when I would go out to sea for a couple weeks, how fucking hard that was on my wife. Like, my daughter tells me now, it's stories about like, they would drop me off at the ship in the morning when I would leave. And like mom just cried all day. And like, it was, man, I'm getting like freakin' choked up.

Brock Briggs  1:11:28  

Yeah, I'm like, feel this too. 

Tim McCarthy   1:11:32  

Yeah. Like, I never realized it, you know, but to me, I was like, hanging out with my best friend and my friends at work. And we were dicking around out to scene

Brock Briggs 1:11:43  

Drinking Monsters and eating cow tails

Tim McCarthy  1:11:46  

Yeah, yeah. I was having so much fun. But like, my wife is not, my wife is like really struggling. So it really came down to like, what is the best move for my family, and that getting out and moving to Idaho. Like, that was the best move for my family, for everybody's happiness. And at that point, I felt like I had had enough experience on my resume where like, I can figure it out, like I can make equal money, if not better money, and I'll wing it. We'll figure it out, you know.

Brock Briggs  1:12:17  

Yeah. This might be kind of a hard question. And kind of put you on the spot a little bit. But have you ever been resentful of that? 

Tim McCarthy  1:12:28  

No, no. Well, dang it. My like, my gut instinct, my gut instinct was no, but the very first yes. I wouldn't say resentful, just like lost. And so maybe that turned into a little bit of resentment. But like, when I got out, that transition was really fucking hard for me. Because, again, the caring about people's perception. When I got out, I went to kind of like a family reunion, so to speak. And so now I'm no longer like, oh, I'm like, in the Navy. I'm like, I'm now out of the Navy. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I don't have a job fully, like lined up, but I'm moving to Idaho. And so like, it was fucking hard. And I did, I went into the Reserves. 

And I remember like, my second drill weekend there. So like, I'd been out of the Navy about a month and a couple months. I was like, how do I deploy? What can I do to like, go back to be full time but like, be here in Idaho. And it just, it was tough, man. Like, I was working construction. And I didn't really like that, you know. I had gone from being a military guy to like, now I'm working construction, like, not making good money at all struggling hardcore. I mean, we were fucking broke, dude. Bad. 

And so I remember, this was like, kind of a pivotal moment for me. I remember, just, like, getting into this argument with my wife, like, I got out of the Navy, because of you and I'm fucking miserable. 

Brock Briggs

Oh, boy!

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah. And I remember like, in my bathroom, just being like, I hate it here. Like, I fucking hate it here. Like, this is miserable. I wanna go back in the Navy. You know, because that's what I knew. And my wife fucking handled that with such grace and was just like, I know. I know you're fucking miserable here because you're figuring it out. We're gonna figure it out. You're gonna find the next thing that you love. And that was like, “Okay, let's figure it out.” And then that's when I kind of jumped into carsales.

Brock Briggs  1:15:04  

Well, then I think that that such like a difficult transition, because, like just so much even harder than anything else, because you're, you know, joined like relatively young. You come to Virginia, you find your identity. You've got this new thing that's going and like, you get married and like you're doing all these other things, which are kind of like pushing you along. But like, the foundation of like, what got you there was just like ripped out from under you. 

Tim McCarthy 

Yeah, yeah.

Brock Briggs

And like, you get out. You move 3000 miles away, you don't have a job. Like, probably less of a plan that you would have liked. 

Tim McCarthy   1:15:49  

Yeah. And I had like, irons in the fire and stuff like that. That I was like, in my head getting out, I was like, I'm good. Like, I have A, B, C, D E, like, lined up if the A doesn't work out, but like, I was pulling those fucking irons out left and right. And they're all cold. Like all of them, like nothing real. Oh, yeah. Dude, like, not one of them.

Brock Briggs  1:16:13  

What were the things that you had kind of lined up? 

Tim McCarthy   1:16:21  

So working for Micron. And that was kind of like my own doing. Like they had said, like, reach out to us when you're here. But I didn't wanna do that. I didn't wanna go back to like being a technician. So I never like really reached out to them. But I got into like, fugitive recovery a little bit. 

Brock Briggs

I remember that. So weird, dude. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah. And like, I really like loved the idea of that. And it just, that's a whole other story. But it ended up just being like, kind of some like sketchy like wild, wild west cowboy shit. And I was like, I'm not getting involved in this, like, I'm gonna end up needing to shoot somebody, and I am not a police officer. Like, I'm gonna go to fucking jail. Like, this is not, so Jess hated that. So I stopped doing that very quickly.

Brock Briggs  1:17:09  

We're gonna have to save that for another podcast, because that might be its own story.

Tim McCarthy   1:17:15  

Yeah, that was wild, dude. Like, you boot somebody's door in to like, go and arrest them. That's fucking eye opening. I was like, “What am I getting myself into? Like, holy shit!” So yeah, like I stopped doing that. And then working construction, you know, with my father in law, that was freakin' awesome. Because I was able to, like, get there. And like, two, three days later, like start making money, but it wasn't good money. You know, he was paying me what I was worth, I'd never done carpentry before. He was paying me well, for what I was, what I knew, you know what I mean. 

And of course, there's like, if I had stayed with that I would have like, made more money doing it. But that's not what I wanted to do. We were freaking struggling. And yeah, it was tough. And then I, when I first got there, I told my mother in law that I wanted to get into car sales. And she had said, “Oh, I know, some of the managers over at this dealership, I can reach out to him.” And so I said, “Yeah,” so she reached out to him. And I went, and they said, “Yeah, send him in.” 

I went in, and I got a phone call, like a week later. And they're like, “Dude, we're just like, not hiring right now. Like, we're going into this slow season.” So to me, I was like, fuck, that didn't even pan out. Like that was a sure thing. And then I kind of like stayed, then I had like, this big blowup with Jess and I was freaking miserable and hated the Reserves and all this shit. And then I like stayed consistent with that. And then I eventually ended up getting into car sales.

Brock Briggs  1:18:47  

You touched on something there that has been kind of a tricky spot that I have found myself into. You said something where, you know, you got out for the family reasons. But then when it came down to like getting into a fight, you said I got out for you. And like that is such like, that's not a good place to be because they kind of like I think almost deep down you kind of something you never wanna say but you kind of associate the feeling with.

And like, I can't even imagine how stressful that is like coming back to or you know, going to a place that you've never been and you're like supporting a family and I think that there's something that's innermost to. This isn't like a sexist thing. But I legitimately think that there's something that about guys that you have, like where we want to provide for our family and I have a lot of our self worth tied into taking care of the people that rely on us. And yeah, I can't even imagine how stressful that was. 

Tim McCarthy  1:20:00  

Yeah, it was tough in that I don't know what it was, but like, I got really into like listening to motivational speeches, like on YouTube. And I remember it, you know, it's funny. Well, I'll tell the story that I'll tell this other part. But yeah, I got like really into motivational speeches. And like my mindset just flipped of like, this is where you are now. You were in the Navy, and now you're here. This is not where you are gonna be for your whole life, like just fucking weather the storm, put your boots on, go to work, figure it out, and like it will get better. And then so like my mindset changed. 

And I remember this kind of side story that I was gonna say there's like one particular YouTube video that I would like get in my car on my way to go, be a carpenter, and I would like listen to this all the time. And it was like super powerful to me. About like, six months ago, it like popped up on my YouTube feed, and I haven't listened to it and like years, since I was like, just got out and fucking struggling. And I was like, “Oh, my God,” and I listened to it. 

And I drove to work with like, actual tears in my eyes. Because like, I did it. Like, I made it, you know what I mean? Like I did everything that he's talking about. You know, and it just like this overwhelming sense of like gratitude. For the circumstance that I had, like, that I was in for me, like, doing what I had to do just get in there. I don't know, it was the weirdest thing. Like it's just overwhelming sense of like, gratitude. And I literally like got teared up, like driving to work.

Brock Briggs  1:21:53  

Yeah. Well, it's amazing how, in that moment, when you're just like feeling completely destroyed, how it literally just feels like the walls are coming in around you. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And it just like, it literally is the end of the world and kind of like fast forward in having the benefit of hindsight you like look back and you're like, “Oh, that shit. Like, that is so small now.” 

Tim McCarthy

Yes

Brock Briggs

You know, and you kind of, you empathize with your, your past self of like, being more small minded, and you like don't know what you know now, and I think that that is having regular moments like that. 

I know, it's kind of an interesting way to think about, like, personal growth. But I think that having regular or maybe irregular but every so often experiencing that

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Signifies that you are making progress. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And like, because a lot of times you don't see it, and like, that was one of my like, big kind of overarching themes coming into this conversation is like, sometimes you don't know, when you're getting better. You don't get to see it. Sometimes you get like a glimpse into it, where like that particular instance you'd like go back to this old thing. And it kind of like reminded you of that moment, but you never get to see yourself develop in real time. 

And we often need to hear from other people that like “Hey, you're doing good.” And like this is why this conversation is cool is because like the third party here gets to comment on like, “Hey, this is something that I've seen in you that's changing.” And I think that we naturally don't give ourselves enough credit. As you get older you're like become more humble and like give yourself less credit and we kind of no less just by default of like accepting that there's more out there that we don't know.

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Yeah

Tim McCarthy  1:24:03  

Oh time just give like you get busy and then you don't realize that like “Oh shit. It's been two years since I was like in that position,” and you just you'd said like you never really like look back. Time just like flies by and you never really like reflect on it. So like having that moment was like super cool to me to like, hear something that I used to listen to while I was struggling and then listen to it after the struggle, and I was like, “Oh wow!”

Brock Briggs  1:24:34  

You think that that type of thing is helpful for anybody that may be in like a difficult portion? Or like if not, what do you think that is? So maybe you can reference that video like something about it that was really like, stood out to you. What is it that people should hear that maybe are in that position?

Tim McCarthy  1:24:59  

I think that you need to find a way to like motivate yourself because motivation is like, part of me feels like motivation is like bullshit. Like, it just is like it comes and goes, you know what I mean? But you also need, for me the biggest thing, like, why I would listen to it, is it like, there's so much negativity in the world that like, you gotta, like, block that out sometimes. And like, just feed yourself some like positive stuff and like a different way to like, look at things.

Brock Briggs  1:25:32  

You think that there's, you can have too much of that?

Tim McCarthy  1:25:38  

I do. I do. Because it needs to, like, it needs like really resonate with you. So if you like listen to that type of stuff, or read motivational books or like however way you consume it, eventually it all just like jumbles together and it loses how impactful it is. So there, like, there are times where I'll listen to it now. Like if I'm having a tough month at work, or like whatever, but I like don't listen to that type of stuff all the time, because it loses how impactful it is. 

And you won't get that like little jolt of positivity or that like little jolt of motivation that comes and goes really quick. But you need that sometimes. So I would say don't listen to that shit all the time, because it's just gonna be. It's like when you've heard the same song a million times, like you're not really listening to it.

Brock Briggs  1:26:29  

Yeah, you're kind of like, it just instantly kind of goes on autoplay or whatever in your head.

Tim McCarthy  1:26:34  

In one ear out the other where you should if you're gonna listen that type of thing you should listen to it to like listen to it, don't just like have it as background noise.

Brock Briggs  1:26:45  

I think that that’s right. So you get out of the Navy. You have like all these irons that like don't end up working out, you end up like landing the job in car sales. I kind of wanna pick up here and I wanna point out that it's interesting to me that I remember talking with you very early on in your time in the Navy like when we first kind of were getting to know each other. And you've been talking about car sales since then. That was literally 2015. And you've now been doing it for I don't know a couple years now. 

Tim McCarthy 1:27:23  

Three years, yeah. 

Brock Briggs  1:27:27  

Three years. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

How I hate like I have like a hard time wrapping my brain around that because it's like on one hand like respect so much that like you literally set a goal and you're like I wanna do this. And you like haven't forgotten about it and you went out there and did it. On the flip side of that, I'm also, I'm like it's weird and I have a hard time understanding how your goals didn't change amidst this time when your entire life was kind of like flipped upside down.

Tim McCarthy  1:27:59  

Yeah. So we I was talking about my buddy, my group of friends that I had before I joined. One of them had gotten into car sales like a year or two before I joined the military. And I had watched him like, he flourished in this. And it like offered him a way better life than like he was living before. He was having a new kid and you know his baby and he like jumped in a car sales and like immediately started crushing it and was like you could just watch his like life increase. Like he was just like making so much momentum like bought a house and like was just like able to afford like all of this like cool stuff. Like we'd go out and he’d pay for everybody and it was. So to me, I was like “Okay, so there's definitely money in car sales,” or just sales in general. 

I was also working in sales for Best Buy like making 10 bucks an hour 12 bucks an hour something like that. So like there's no money in that but I've always loved sales like I really loved working at BestBuy which is probably why I stayed there longer than I should have. Because I love like talking to people. I love like making those connections and like helping people and like it's just and it's something I'm good at. So you gotta like kind of lean into your gift, you know what I mean? Like if you're given this gift don't freakin' waste it. Like use it and like that's like what you're meant to do, kind of thing. 

So I've like known about car sells a little bit because my good friend had like, done it for a couple years before I joined and I knew he made very good money doing it. And I enjoyed sales. So to me, I was like, I enjoy sales and I'm decent at it. My friend is in this particular type of sale, and he makes a lot of money doing it. So that's what I want to do. And he had offered me like a salesman job before I joined the Navy to like, stop me from going. He's like, “Dude, I think I could get you in as like a car salesman, even though you don't have any car sales experience.” And for some reason, I was like, “No, I don't wanna do that yet. Like, I need to go do this.” So that's kind of like how I like was introduced to it. 

And I have always had the like, the good like, I've always been able to talk to people. So, to me, I was like, okay, when I get out like that should solve my problem. Like, I should be able to make good money, or at least the same amount of money I was making in the military. And go back to like, what I was doing before, which I know I really liked. So I went talked to the dealership when I first got out. And they like I said, they were like we're not hiring right now. But this was in like, December, November, December of 2018. 

And the hiring manager was like, but I really liked you. Like I would love to have you work for me. But I can't hire you right now. I'm gonna hire in the springtime, like I'm gonna start hiring people to start in March. So I will reach out to you. So in my head, I'm like, okay, that's like, that's past. He didn't like I'm not gonna get that job. And then the mindset changed. And so I called him in the middle of January, like a month later. And I was like, “Hey, just wanted to check in to see if you had started hiring again.” And he's like, kinda like, chuckles he's like, “No, like, I have not started hiring. I'm probably gonna start hiring people in February.” So in a couple of weeks, he said, “If you don't get a call from me, within the first week of February for an interview, call me back.” I said, “Okay.”

I had kind of like, again, it’s a blow to the ego. Dang it. Like, they're not gonna hire me. So I forgot about it. Fast forward three weeks later, it's Monday morning, on like, February 2nd at 9am. I get this call, like the first Monday of February. As the dude just walked in the door, I get a phone call, said “Hey, are you available for an interview today? You know, noon?” Yeah. So I went down. And I interviewed. And some of the managers were not there so that he like comes back in after an interviewing a bunch of people. And he said, hey, so and so is not here. But we're gonna, I'm gonna call you to like schedule a second interview. And again, I'm like, dang it. Like I blew it. Like he's being nice. Like, I didn't get the job. 

But I said to him, I said, if it's a time thing, I have time. I'll wait for so and so to get here. And he like kind of laughed. And he's like, no, no, I promise you like, I'm not blowing you off like really I will call you. I was like, “Okay.” Three or four days go by and I was at a job site, still working construction with my father in law. And I was like, he has not called me like it's been three days. For some reason. I opened my phone, go to my voicemail like look through my calls. Don't see any missed calls from go to my voicemail. There is a voicemail from three hours earlier that day that said, “Hey, this is so and so was hoping you'd be available for that follow up interview today at two o'clock.” It was one o'clock. 

Brock Briggs

Oh, my God!

Tim McCarthy

Yeah. So I call him. I'm like, “Hey, Charlie, I'm so sorry. Like, I never got a notification for the voicemail. I would love to come interview. I apologize. Like I didn't confirm with you. Is that interview still available?” And he's like, “Yeah, man, it's one o'clock, like I plan on two.” Perfect. So I like ran home changed, took a shower, changed my clothes, like, darted over to the dealership. The dude, that manager that I was waiting to interview with, walks in. 

And he goes well, “I think I know everything I need to know about you. Seems like everybody likes you. So what's your favorite football team?” And I was like, “I'm a Bills fan.” And he's like, “Oh, God. Oh.” And I was like, “Oh, what's your football team?” And he's like, “The best football team in the country.” And I said, “You're a Patriots fan, aren't you?” And he's like, “That's right.” And so I very jokingly was like, “Alright, I'm out of here.” And I like go to stand up. And he just starts busting out laughing. He's like, “I freakin' like you, man.” And then they offered me the job.

Brock Briggs  1:35:02  

Wow, I don't think that I do that. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

I haven’t heard that. Like, for anybody that doesn't know you like there's nothing that's more of a new story than that. And I think that your ability to joke with people in like, a way that is kind of like taunting a little bit. But you know where the line is most of the time, have stepped over that maybe three or four times. We will get into that on the podcast, but people love that.

Tim McCarthy   1:35:34  

Yeah

Brock Briggs  1:35:36  

Do you think that that was, when you're telling this story. I'm like, imagining each time that this guy is laughing. This guy like loves you. Like

Tim McCarthy

Yeah 

Brock Briggs

When you're like calling, like, oh, is there like, you know, I just wanted to see if you were starting to hire like he knows that you're hungry, you know. 

Tim McCarthy

Yes

Brock Briggs

You want this. Do you think that that was what set you apart? Or is there some kind of impression that you made on him that you think it's valuable when approaching like a job interview that one that you really want?

Tim McCarthy   1:36:08  

So this is a great question. And I was thinking of a way to like, bring this up. Because I think it's very important. With sales, especially one massive component to that is following up with a customer. Like if you don't sell whatever you're selling, if you don't sell them something, call them and follow up with them. And like you need to get over the fact of like, you're bugging somebody. And so the dealership that I work at, they don't hire people with car sales experience, because they want you to sell cars the way that they want to train you, they don't want the bad habits. So I think me, “following up with this dude, so many times” was a big, it proved that like, I'm not afraid to bother somebody. 

And like, I'm willing to do this part of the job that is like, crucial to the job. And I've never sold cars before. But I'm like doing it to him. I'm like, I'm following up with him. It has also kind of like changed now knowing that and like how to follow up with somebody and like, make that kind of uncomfortable phone call, because you feel like you're bothering them. That can be used in any job. My brother was like, he moved out here recently, and he was struggling with finding a job. He was like getting called back. 

So I called him. I said, dude, this is what you need to do. You need to call the manager and say, “Hey, this is Tim. I just wanted to call and follow up with you on our interview. I really appreciate you taking the time to sit down with me. But I wanted to follow up and see if you maybe had some other questions that you didn't get an answer to. Or if there was any sort of progress in the decision on whether or not you wanted to hire me? Or if maybe you needed another interview with me. What time works best for you with that.” In like that, he was like, “Dude, I can't do that.” And I'm like, “Why? Why wouldn't you?” 

And then I started. I gave him a couple other word tracks. I said, dude, you could literally call this person and set your own follow up appointment, or follow up, not appointment with your follow up interview. Because one of the jobs, they're like, well, we need to like do a second interview. You know, that's like standard procedure. So I said call them and say, hey, I want to follow up on the second interview. What day works best for you on that? Did you wanna get together on Thursday? Or did you wanna get together on Wednesday? Like you're setting your own follow up or your own interview. You know what I mean? And so he did that. And they were like, “Yeah, can you come in on Thursday?” And, like gave them an either or option, like I'm giving you two options to pick from.

And they're like, well, let me look. Yeah, I'm available on Thursday. Perfect! Morning or afternoon, you know, like, you just do it yourself. That's fucking powerful stuff. And he was like, dude, that's crazy. But like, nobody does that. But I was hungry and I like needed this job. Like I needed to make money more than I was making so like I wasn't gonna take this dude’s no until he told me “No, I'm not hiring you.” Because he kept like, kind of snot stringing me along but like I was misinterpreting what he was saying for like turning me down. But I was like he's gonna have to tell me he's not hire me because I'm gonna keep bugging this dude.

Brock Briggs 1:39:45  

I think that that's so powerful, like kind of your hungriness and like willingness to kind of look dumb and like overcome your like, that internal part of you that saying, hey, you blew this interview, you know, like, whatever. And be willing to kind of like follow up and potentially, you're never gonna look stupid. But for some reason you think that you will. 

Tim McCarthy

For sure 

Brock Briggs

Why do people lack that follow up? I wanna kind of like start to unpack like what you know about sales. What's your kind of like learned about sales since you have been doing this last couple of years? And kind of like the military's influence over that. But why do you think that people lack that follow up element, whether it be in sales, something else or in this particular circumstance? Why do people not follow up on the job?

Tim McCarthy  1:40:43  

It’s because they either don't know how, they don't know how to make it sound professional the way that I just did. Or I think more importantly, or I think that the actual reason is they're too concerned about bothering somebody. They don’t want to be a nuisance. They don't wanna bother somebody. So like in sales, they don't wanna follow up with somebody, because they don't wanna bother them. And then if they bother them, then they're gonna lose the sale. But like, if you don't follow up with them, and set that appointment, or ask the tough questions, you're not gonna get the sale either way. So it goes back to that like zero risk, high reward situation. 

And I think that that's why and I think outside of sales, as far as like, like that example with my brother, I think it's just the lack of knowledge, like nobody's ever taught him like, hey, this, you can give this person an either or question. And it's way harder to say no, to an either or question than it is to say no to an open ended question of like, when did you wanna get together? Well, I'll have to check. But did you wanna get together on Wednesday or Thursday? Well, I didn't give you all check as an option. I gave you two options. You know what I mean?

Brock Briggs  1:42:01  

Right. Well, and then a way to you're like, you're filling some initiative, but you're also like controlling the conversation. And I would love to hear kind of like your thoughts on that. But like, one of the things about giving people options like that, that's why open ended questions are so bad, because especially in something like a sales type of job, because it just opens the door to like, whatever kind of weird concerns that. You know, in this case, the interviewer or like, your potential sale is like thinking about that kind of like worry. But like when you narrow it down for them, you're kind of setting the pace and saying, “Hey, this is what we can do.”

Tim McCarthy   1:42:48  

For sure. Yeah. And it's, I think, as far as like getting a job, being able to control the situation or control the conversation is very powerful. And it shows your ability to be a leader too. And like take control of like tough situations.

Brock Briggs  1:43:05  

How do you take control of like a conversation, maybe talk about that generally, and then maybe talk about maybe a situation or like, a bad situation that you've had to like take control of before.

Tim McCarthy   1:43:21  

So there's a lot of ways that you can control a situation. And in any form of sales, you're asking your way to the sale. You never wanna like tell somebody. Of course you like tell somebody the features of a vehicle or this is the price. Of course you have to tell people but like a lot of the momentum of a sale is built with questions, like what are you gonna be using it for? Did you want cloth or leather? So now you're like narrowing it down what they want, giving them options as far as like how to buy it or whatever. So that's like how to control a conversation is we could, I could talk for two hours on like how to control a situation. It's all like asking the right questions. 

But I think it's also like, not like, don't be afraid to, like, ask the tough questions that need to be asked. And as far as like handling, I guess like a tough question. Something I never even thought of was people fucking hate car salesmen like they really do. So of course I interact with people that they come in with their walls up and they're just kind of like grumpy and they don't wanna be there. They think I'm a schmuck and like, you know, I'm just the dirty car salesman. So I've definitely, like gotten into not physical altercations but like verbal altercations with people and it's there's a couple of ways that you can do it. 

You know, when I first started selling car sells and or when I first started selling cars, and I was piss and vinegar and just like fresh out of the military and like you can't tell me shit. My reaction to like somebody yelling at me, a customer like raising their voice to me is a lot different than it is now. Because when you raise your voice to somebody who's raising your voice, they're just gonna get louder. So now, like just the other week, I had a customer who was like, very upset about what we were asking for a vehicle and he was like yelling at me. And every time he would say something to me, and I responded, I would get quieter, and quieter. And every time and he for the first couple of sentences was getting louder and louder. 

But eventually, he was like, matching my energy and kind of subconsciously, I was able to, like, get him to fucking lower his voice. You know what I mean? Like I talked a little quieter and a little quieter. And then there's a lot to it, you know, your presence, your body language. So as I'm talking quieter, I'm sitting a little bit further back in my chair. So I look a little bit smaller. And I'm not trying to like come off confrontational. And then it allows him to like, calm down. And yeah.

Brock Briggs  1:46:06  

Hey, I can see you like, I can literally picture you and your element doing that. Yeah, this is anybody that listens to this podcast is probably never gonna wanna buy a car from you. So they're gonna learn all your tricks. And beyond you, what do you think? You've talked about a couple things here that you think are important. What do you think is the most important part of sales? And the reason I asked that is because I think that sales is such a very, it's kind of, I equate it with like marketing. You're kind of gonna do that in every job that you do. 

Whether you're you know, it doesn't matter if you're like an enterprise salesperson, if you're a car salesman, like you have to sell yourself to get the job. Like you're always selling something, you're always marketing yourself for the next position. And it's so much of that kind of boils down into to positioning. What do you think is the most important takeaway that you've learned about sales just kind of in this role?

Tim McCarthy  1:47:19  

Well, and this kind of goes, I think in you'd asked me like, a couple questions at once. And I think one of the questions that you'd asked me was, like, what set you apart from being in the military? Like, how did that set you apart? So these two things kind of like these two questions I can answer in one. I think the most important thing, and what set me apart was, you need to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Like that is like you need to like really be okay with stepping out of your comfort zone. And like just being uncomfortable, asking the tough questions, be okay with somebody like being a little frustrated with you, because they both want the same thing in the end. 

But sometimes people get a little frustrated. So whenever I train somebody, that's one thing that I say all the time is, dude, you need to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Like when you're going down, and you know that they're gonna be a little bit upset about the price of this car or the monthly payment or whatever. Because the math didn't pan out correctly, the way that they thought it would. You need to be comfortable being uncomfortable. That's the most important thing. 

And I think that that's what like, how that set me apart is like I've been screamed at in the military. I've been uncomfortable. So like I'll say the tough. I'll ask the tough questions. I'll say the things that are tough to say, like I don't mind being uncomfortable. That's kind of like my new comfort zone at work is like, I'm cool with it.

Brock Briggs  1:48:54  

Yeah. Well, that's such an advantage that people have of having been former service or whatever it is like, you will probably never be that uncomfortable again. There are so many instances that you can think about in your time, like maybe it wasn't the whole time. But there were, I know that everybody was uncomfortable the first time you went and got in the shower in bootcamp. Like that was a weird experience. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah, yup.

Brock Briggs

And there were so many times like maybe you are standing on board in front of all these people, like you're doing things that are just so not natural to what you kind of your inner person wants to do. I think that that's good advice. It sounds kind of like woowoo on like surface because that's like, yeah, okay yeah, we know that we wanna be comfortable being uncomfortable. What's the practical, just how do you apply that? 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah, yeah, sure

Brock Briggs

How was it that people can practice that? Is there something that you do to kind of like remind yourself and maybe outside of like a car sales that you like, you get to ask those types of hard questions every day. But like, what are some things that you have maybe found that like, kind of can keep people fresh? Generally with that kind of like, spine shivering like, “Oh, I don’t like this.”

Tim McCarthy   1:50:26  

I think, oh, gosh, yeah, that is a freaking tough question, dude. Because it's hard for me to like, pick out one like tangible thing. But to like, I guess to like, keep you fresh, I don't know, man. I don't know how to answer that. Just, I guess, like going for it. Just like giving my brother he like, did not wanna do that. And I'm like, “Dude, I'm telling you, like, just do it. Here's what to say. Just do it, and it will work out.” There's, I guess there's really like, that's a freakin' hard question. Oh, gosh, I don't know. I don't know, like how to like, stay fresh, like, stay comfortable being uncomfortable outside of uncomfortable situations. I guess just put yourself in uncomfortable situations. 

If you're a single person, and you go out, go talk to the girl, go talk to the guy, like, do things outside of your job that like may make you uncomfortable. You know, you know what I mean? It's hard. It does sound it does sound woowoo. And I totally know that. But like, it's crucial. If I were to like, try to give you something tangible, that like what the most important thing in sales would be, it's all about making a friend. 

Just focus on like making a friend first before anything else. Like make that initial connection, like find something that you can bond over whether you have the same favorite sports team. You also have a daughter, or you grew up here, oh, I visited there one time and I saw this or do fishing or whatever, like find something and once you have like a common ground, build on that. That would probably be a little bit more tangible than being comfortable being uncomfortable.

Brock Briggs  1:52:24  

Yeah. No, I like that. And I don't think that that's people's first inkling, especially when considering like a job. But there are so many little cues that people will give when you're going into like, whether it be a job interview or something people, you know. Listen to their accent if they mentioned something about the traffic coming in, you know, like, or the weather or whatever, just like, dive on those things. 

Tim McCarthy   1:52:55  

Yeah. Pictures that they have in their office or like, look at the little trinkets on their desk if they got a freakin' signed baseball or a picture of their family. Like, oh, how old are your kids? Oh, they're 17 and 14? Oh, so your teenage phase, I have a three year old and a nine year old. So I'm headed that way. You know, like just anything like just find a common ground and find it quickly, like right off the jump. Because once you find that people's walls will start to kind of break down. 

Brock Briggs  1:53:24  

Yeah. Well, and with the comfortable, uncomfortable thing. I think that this is also like very woowoo. But you really, I guess a way that I think about it. And it's very not tangible. But I know that you and I think very similarly when we think about where we wanna be in five years. And like maybe 10 years, in terms of like what I think of when I think of success, and like what that looks like. And I think about like how hungry we are for that and like how badly we want and comparing that a little bit to okay, my actions that I've done up until now have gotten me here. 

And like, if I continue doing what I've been doing, will that get me to where I wanna be? You probably won't. You probably can't say yes to that. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And that means you just gotta be willing to do stuff that's hard. And yeah, whether that's, you know, you're talking to the girl or you're, you know, you're calling up the hiring manager or whatever it is like you gotta be willing to look dumb a lot. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

I think that that's some really good content on sales. And I think that that's while we will we've got some like tangible things that people can be thinking about you. From a career perspective, you like this has been a very long kind of overarching story of like, you've got the job now.

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs 

You ended up getting the position. You're like, super successful at what you do. You're probably won't be here to like brag about yourself, but like you're a trainer for like new people that you're work, like, probably high up on the list of like, when people are thinking like looking to promote. What do you think about it now? Is that, what do you think about where you are? What's next?

Tim McCarthy  1:55:33  

Well, it's, I definitely always have the mindset of like, what is the next level. So like, to me, yeah, the next level would be to, like, step into like a sales manager role, or some sort of like leadership role. You would touch on me being a trainer, one really cool thing. And I've kind of taken a couple sales men under my wing now that were given to me that I was told, like, “Hey, you're kind of like, you're their manager without being their manager.” So like, I will go down and talk to their customers and try to close the deal. 

And I will train them and teach them one like, really cool thing that I never thought about, until I started doing it, that I freakin' love is like watching somebody. Being a part of somebody going from the situation I was in and like, struggling to, like, “Hey, if you do this, this, and this, this is like, you can be successful. And this is the type of lifestyle that you can live.” 

And I freakin' love that, like, I've seen it a couple of times. So with the guys that I've trained up, it's like, teaching them and showing them how they can be successful in something and like watching their life change before their eyes in a matter of months. Because they're like, applying the things that I'm teaching them. And like guiding somebody, I love that. And I've like never really been able to do it. But that is like a passion of mine that I never knew that I had.

Brock Briggs  1:57:04  

Teaching in general?

Tim McCarthy   1:57:07  

I don't know about like teaching in general, but like mentoring maybe, and like helping somebody advanced their life, in sales in particular. And like opening these doors for them, and like letting them learn off of me and showing them the right things to say and do and what to do. And like watching them go from, you know, kind of struggling to like, dude, I'm like crushing it now. And like, this is like, I now like have the ability to do this. You know, like, one of the kids I was trained. 

He like, called his girlfriend up and was like, “Hey, do you wanna go on vacation? We're like, to San Diego?” And she's like, “Yeah, sure.” And he's like, cool. And he like bought tickets, and he like paid for like this whole week long vacation. It's like, “Dude, I would have never been able to do that as a prison guard.” And that's what he did before. And so just like seeing how excited he got to like be able to do these things and like live this lifestyle that he wants, is really amazing to see.

Brock Briggs  1:58:12  

Where do you think that you get that desire to kind of like, help other people because I think kind of hearing your story. Or people that generally wanna do that are people who have like had the door open for them by somebody else in their past. And that doesn't seem to be the case with you. Like you kind of forge your own path. But it wasn't somebody that came alongside and put their arm around you and kind of like walked you through the process. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Where do you think that that desire comes from?

Tim McCarthy   1:58:50  

I think it's just like, I've always liked to help people like when I was a kid. I wanted to be a police officer, a firefighter, you know, of course I've always wanted to help people. I don't know if that comes from like being a freakin' comic book nerd and like kind of wanting to be like a superhero and like, help people or whatever it is. But I also have never really. I try not to forget where I came from. 

So like in that scenario, helping this kid, like become successful. I was in his position two years ago. So like if I can help him go from that position to my position, I owe it to him to do that. Because I know what it's like and I've been there and so like as I become more successful and kind of like advance financially and within my job and stuff like that. I tried to not forget, you know about the time that I had to go buy five boxes of mac and cheese because I had $7 in my account for the next week, so I needed to eat mac and cheese every day, because 98 cents a box. You know what I mean? 

I try not to forget about that. Because it's easy to like, once you start making money, it's really easy to forget that. And I've seen it time and time again, in my industry of people that have been doing it for years and years. And you like know that they've forgotten what it's like to struggle. And so I tried to like keep that fresh in my mind and like, be grateful. So yeah, just, if I can help him go to that next level, then I owe it to him. That's just the way I've always been.

Brock Briggs  2:00:40  

Yeah, well, and I think that you also, it's, maybe you don't even realize it, but like that from like the third party perspective here. When somebody is really good at something, they do it. They excel, but there's like a cap in the satisfaction that you can get from doing something that you're really good at.

Tim McCarthy

For sure

Brock Briggs

What raises that cap is teaching and giving that to other people. And that also is like it says something about you as a person. But also, to be truly great at something you have to be able to teach it to other people. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

And if you aren't at that stage, like you're not there yet.

Tim McCarthy   2:01:33  

For sure. And I think to like go off that selfishly. One reason why I really like doing that like that this mentorship is I get to now be the one who when you can't close this deal, you're not able to make it work. I'm the one that will go down in and close it or at least try. So to me like that is the next challenge is like okay, now I get to work with the customers that like the salesman can't close the deal. Let me go see if I can, and like give me a little bit of backstory. What do they want? What's going on? Okay, and then like going down, and closing that deal is like exhilarating to me like that. It's just like, so freakin cool. And it's also cool to like, see some of the newer guys watch me do what I do. And just afterwards be like, “Holy shit, dude. Like that was freakin' dope.” You know what I mean?

Brock Briggs  2:02:30  

Yeah. What do you think that the military has taught you about people? Other than we talked about the being uncomfortable thing. What did you learn about people from the military that has helped you excel in sales? Because if there's one thing that like everybody knows, when they get out, it's like, you know, how people work. We know what motivates us, you know. It's such like a raw organization and the military as a whole. But what would you say?

Tim McCarthy   2:03:05  

Well, it definitely going back to like you are meeting and working with people from all over from all walks of life. You kind of like, without really knowing it, you figure out how certain personalities tick. So like being able to know okay, this dude, he seems kind of like an asshole. He's not an asshole, though. He's just like, he's from New York. 

So like, when he asks a question, it sounds really rude. He's not being rude. He's just asking the question, or the dude from the South who like has the southern drawl and like talks real slow and like, he's not dumb. That's just his accent like that's how he grew up talking that way. So being able to like identify those things, I think has been a massive advantage.

Brock Briggs  2:04:01  

Certainly exposed to all sorts of accents and backgrounds and kind of makes you almost more accepting like you said, a more ready and able to target the types of people and you also, your experiences are almost more diverse too, because and it almost gives you more talking points like “Oh, I like had this friend that like was from where you're from,” or whatever. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah, exactly.

Brock Briggs

And likely can utilize those memories and even if they're just one off, but like, you're throwing a bunch of lines out with people and trying to see what they kind of bite on and then build on it. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

What’s next for you? What are you hungry for now? You've kind of obviously, maybe a managerial role at your work, but like, what other things are you working on and you really, really want in the next couple of years.

Tim McCarthy   2:04:59  

Obviously, this podcast, right? Like, this is something that you and I are passionate about and, and I've had fun doing this and I'm hungry to see that grow. I do YouTube and stream on Twitch kind of in my free time. And I would really like to see that excel and potentially be a viable option for business. So doing that, and then also buying a business like we talked about with Nate, you know, finding something that will kind of I can be my own boss, not necessarily that I want to like step away from car sales, but maybe try that out too.

Brock Briggs  2:05:44  

Yeah. Yeah, it's, I feel like we've talked so much about like how we were so unaware of the different options and things that are out there. And it like, it's kind of overwhelming in some ways, but empowering to think about all these new things to kind of new challenges to take on and like new ways to kind of like, level up your life and learn new things and grow. I kind of wanna close out here. What do you think is the one thing that people can learn from you about life sales? The Navy, military? What would it be?

Tim McCarthy  2:06:30  

Don't overthink things, first of all, like just

Brock Briggs  2:06:33  

Or don't think at all.

Tim McCarthy  2:06:35  

Yeah, like don't sweat the small stuff. And it's almost all small stuff, like really just like, make the decision and like, do that. Also, I guess the other thing would be like, there's money to be made out there. And like, you don't need a degree. You don't need a special training. Like the one cool thing about sales for me and like getting into this as it's made me realize that like, there's money out there to be made. 

And like, all you gotta do is like go and get it and focus on it and double down and sales. For anybody that's listening that's like interested in getting into sales, sales is like the only job where you can jump into it with no college, no training, nothing and make six figures. So there's money out there to be made, just do some research and figure out what you're interested in and go for it.

Brock Briggs  2:07:40  

I like both of those things, in particular, the first part. You've done a phenomenal job in your life generally, or at least since I've known you of like, not worrying about things too much. And one of the phrases that I use to describe you to your dad was “happy go lucky.” And like your calmness and like approach in life has like saved me from so many things. Like there have been so many circumstances where I have like been in a bad way and you're like calm this has like gotten me calm. Because you know, I'm fucking high strung.

Tim McCarthy  2:08:28  

Well, you're not.

Brock Briggs  2:08:31  

I’ve known it. No, I think that it's super admirable trait. They're very charismatic.You got a lot of grace. And I think that's gonna continue to take you places. 

Tim McCarthy

I appreciate that.

Brock Briggs

Happy to be doing this podcast with you, man. This is good. 

Tim McCarthy

Yeah

Brock Briggs

Happy to have you as a friend just in general.

Tim McCarthy  2:08:55  

Same. Hopefully this, I don't know, opens people's eyes to different opportunities. You know, this particular episode. Somebody has never considered a career in sales or, you know, whatever. Look into it. And you don't have to sell cars. You could sell anything, roofs. You sell solar systems, you sell beds, like there's money to be made out there and all of it. Just go freakin' look at it.

Brock Briggs  2:09:19  

Everything is for sale at one point. 

Tim McCarthy

That's right. 

Brock Briggs

Very true. Well, cool. Thanks so much. This has been great.

Tim McCarthy

Thank you!